Broken Forever Read online

  “Brian…,” she moans.

  Pulling back I look down into her baby blues and give her the best smirky smile I have. “But a deal is a deal. Let’s go get cleaned up.” I turn her around and point her toward the door.

  Chapter 8

  Lillian

  The moment the water hits my body, I close my eyes and allow myself to finally relax, giving my muscles a much-needed break and reflecting on the day’s events.

  I never expected to see Brian today. I honest to God thought he was just the bartender that surfed with my sister every now and then. Just goes to show, you can’t always judge a book by its cover — which goes against everything I have learned in my line of business. I’ve closed major deals off judgment calls.

  A couple raps on the door is all the warning I get before he lets himself in and pulls me from my train of thought. “I’m afraid I don’t have anything girly for you to wear.” Brian’s gruff voice echoes through the bathroom, making me all too aware of how close he is. “But I was able to find an older pair of sweatpants and my old high school T-shirt for you to sleep in.” Brian keeps talking as he hops on to the counter and makes himself comfortable.

  “Um hello, naked here.” I hurry and wash up.

  “I’m very aware.”

  “You can see me?” I open the door and feel around for the towel I left on the toilet.

  “Not yet, but the imagination is a wonderful thing.”

  “Where is my towel?” I stick my head out to see where it went.

  “You looking for this?” Brian is now standing in front of the door, dangling the towel, daring me to get out.

  “Leave me the towel and please get out!”

  “What and miss you getting all flustered? Never.”

  “Brian, please…I’m tired and now cold.”

  Turning around without saying a word, he heads for the door, pausing momentarily to flip a switch and points up. “Heat.” Then closes the door.

  Drying myself off, I reach for the clothes when the door suddenly pops open and Brian peeks his head in. “Brian!” I try to cover myself the best I can, arm covering my breasts and hand covering my nether regions. “Get out now!”

  “Well, I’ll be damned.” His eyes roam my naked frame, and chills begin to rack my body — this time not from being cold but from the desire in his stare.

  “Hey, eyes are up here.”

  Clearing his throat, he nods, “Um, yeah…I-I was just going to say... you can have my room. I forgot my sister stacked her boxes all over the spare.”

  “Is this your way of getting me to sleep with you?” I quickly grab the clothes and get dressed. My hands weren’t doing the trick and, well, just a few months ago he saw more than just this.

  “Nope. Cross my heart and hope to die.” He makes the motions with his hands, making me smile. “I’m going to take the couch. If you need anything I’ll be out there. My bedroom is just around the corner on your right.”

  “Thanks.” I follow him out of the bathroom and pad down the hallway.

  I scan his bedroom for anything familiar, but I get nothing. Sitting down on the end of the bed, I feel like I should remember. I did spend most of the day and part of the night here forgetting about my mess of a life, but nothing triggers me. Hell, a part of me wonders if we were even here.

  It had to be here. I walked home when I left him sleeping.

  Curiosity is getting the best of me and there is no way I’ll be able to sleep with him in the other room. Walking back down the hall I head to the living room where I see Brian lying on the couch watching TV.

  “Hey, remember that one night…”

  “At band camp.” He looks up at me with a lazy smile.

  “Real funny…you know what I’m talking about.” I put my hands on my hips, which make the already loose pants hang a tad bit lower. “Why don’t I remember this place? You brought me here, right?”

  “Hmmm…are you saying you forgot that night?”

  “Not exactly, but I don’t remember coming in through the bar and your bedroom doesn’t seem familiar.”

  “Easy…we used the apartment entrance in back and as for the bedroom, it’s been three months and my sister decided we should spruce the place up. She redecorated.” He sits up, the blanket pooling at his waist leaving his chest exposed. I’m the one staring now.

  “That explains it,” I whisper.

  “Let me ask you this.” He leans forward, removes my hands from my hips, and holds them in his own. “Do you remember how good we were together?” He pulls me closer.

  “Brian…”

  “Do you remember my touch on your body?” He gives my hands a little tug, making me fall right into his lap.

  “Yes.” I’m not sure he heard me, my voice barely audible as I remember. The memories of that night flood back.

  “Do you want to feel it again?”

  “Yes.”

  **********

  Brian

  “Yes?” I need her to say it again, hopeful I heard her right.

  “Yes, Brian, I want to feel you again,” Lil confirms, bringing her hand up to caress my face as she gives me a soft kiss on the lips. “Tonight.”

  “Done.” In one swift motion I have her under me, her gasp telling me I've taken her by surprise. Her mouth opens to say something, but I don’t give her the chance. I have been thinking about this moment every day for the past three months.

  Taking advantage, I cover her mouth with mine, exploring as our tongues move together. My hands roam her body greedily, the pressure building.

  “I need you.” She wraps her body around mine. Arms on my waist and legs securing me into place, and as if we’re not close enough she draws me down, taking all my weight. Careful not to crush her, I prop myself up on my elbows, but she won't have it. As she pulls me down flush against her, I struggle to keep control as her voice rasps out, "I need this. I need all of you, Brian.” She hugs me in tighter, squeezing me between her thighs, lifting her hips to gain the friction she desperately seeks.

  Giving in, I grind down on her, my own control barely hanging by a thread. Her mouth is on my ear. Every little breath, every gasp, every moan is meant for me, and it rocks me to my core. I don’t know how much more I can hold back.

  Reaching behind me, I try to loosen her vice grip on me, enough so I can give us both what we want, but her legs tighten around me. Her hips move harder, faster.

  “Lil, we need to —”

  “More…I need more.” Her mouth is now on mine, hungry and wet, taking what she needs.

  The need to be inside her gets stronger with every roll of my hips. I kick the coffee table out of the way, wrap my arms around her and flip us off the couch. I take the fall for both of us as we land with a thud.

  “Yes!” Lil quickly stands up and has her pants off first, pulling my bottoms down to my knees. “Do you have a condom?”

  Shit!

  “Fuck!”

  “I take that as a no?” She seems not to care, since she’s returned to the floor with me and is rubbing herself against me, taking it further and further.

  “No.” I wait for her to pull back.

  “I’m on the pill.”

  Thank God!

  “I’m clean. Actually, I haven’t been with anyone since you.” I’m not sure why I tell her that. Maybe I need her to know that last time wasn’t forgotten. That she did something to me then.

  “Good!” She purrs as she slides down onto me, gripping me, riding me and within seconds she finds her release, mine quickly following.

  This wasn’t like the last time. This was raw need and pure emotions. This is a moment that will forever brand me.

  Chapter 9

  Lillian

  “Make it go away.” I throw the covers over my head to hide from the sun beaming directly into my eyes. “Haven’t you heard of room-darkening blinds?” I pull the blanket back just enough to see his reaction out of one eye.

  “My girl isn’t a morning person?” His smile i
s way too big for the morning. So, I do what any person with lack of sleep would do: pull the covers back over my head. “Well, we will need to work on that.” The bed shifts and I hear him walking to the bathroom.

  “I’m a morning person.” My voice is muffled from the blankets.

  “Sure you are.” He sounds closer now, but I’m not sure.

  “Why do you have to be so loud?” I quickly pull the covers down to glare at him and pull them back up just as quickly. His laugh vibrates the room it’s so loud. Well, maybe I’m exaggerating a tad, but can you blame me? It’s morning, I haven’t slept and I need coffee.

  What’s he doing now? Wait? Did he pull the blinds?

  “Is it safe to come out?”

  Brian sits down on my side of the bed. “It’s safe to come out.” He chuckles, pulling the blanket back down. “How’s that?” He nods in the direction of the vampire death trap.

  “Better, but do you know what would make it even better?”

  “This?” He picks up a steaming hot cup of coffee from the nightstand. My mouth salivates at the closeness of the saving grace.

  “Brian Andrews, you are mine. You are never leaving the house and your job will be to save me from the morning and fetch me coffee all hours of the day.”

  “Hmm…” He pretends to think about this statement. “One question, will there be sex?”

  “For sure! Lots and lots of sex.” I hold his stare as I take a sip of the coffee and then lick the rim where some of the sugar was stuck from the moisture.

  His eyes go dark with need. He pulls the cup from my hands and climbs on top of me. “That was so freaking sexy.” He comes in for a kiss.

  “Ew…,” I quickly turn my head and pull the covers back up over my mouth. “Morning breath.”

  “I brushed my teeth just a few minutes ago.” He smiles and I’m pretty sure his teeth sparkled. So perfect and white.

  “Not you, me.” I keep the shield of blankets on guard and point to my mouth.

  “Lil, I don’t care, plus you brushed your teeth before bed and that was only a few hours ago. I’m pretty sure your breath is fine.” He argues his point.

  Smacking my lips together for the added dramatics, “Well, I’m not grossed out by my own taste.”

  “Good, then let me taste.” The blankets come off and his mouth is on mine.

  I could get used to this.

  “Mmmm.” No words, just a moan.

  “Mmm-hmm,” Brian moans back, making me crack a smile.

  Rolling off me, he props himself up on a couple pillows and looks down at me. “Let’s talk.”

  “About what?” I snicker.

  “Let’s get to know each other.”

  Lifting the covers up, I look down at my naked form. “Well, by the looks of it, we know each other very well.”

  “You sure? Let me see.” He takes the covers from me, lifting them higher for his viewing pleasure. “Oh yeah. I remember now.”

  “You’re crazy.” Laughing I smack the blankets free from his hands. “OK, what do you want to know?”

  “Let’s start out easy. What’s your middle name?”

  “Rose. My mom loved flowers. Hence, Daisy, Lilly and Rose.”

  “That’s cool. So Ruby is named after you.” He takes his finger, running it up and down my arm while we talk. It’s so soft it’s as if our skin is whispering to each other.

  “Yeah, she is.” Guilt washes over me.

  “What’s that look for?” He catches the mood shift.

  “Come on Brian. You’re friends with Daisy.” I turn my face away from him when I confess. “You know what I did.”

  “What did you do? ’Cause I’m not sure if you know what you did.”

  “I almost made her lose the baby when she fell down the stairs.”

  “That was an accident,” he counters.

  “If I wouldn’t have said what I did she wouldn’t have taken off after Ferris.” It pains me to recall the moment.

  “You had every right to call her out like that. You are her older sister and you were watching out for her.”

  “You know…I thought she was pregnant with your baby.”

  “Say what? Why?” He acts shocked, like that is the last thing that could have ever happened.

  “You guys were always surfing and hanging out together until she started her job at Hampton Enterprises.”

  “Because she’s cool and she reminded me of my little sister. Plus during that time, I wasn’t talking to my family and my sister was still living at home. I missed her and Daisy filled that void. There was no attraction there whatsoever.” He stops caressing my arm and when I turn back to face him, he gives me the cutest look. Almost like he has a huge secret to tell. “Do you remember the first time we met?”

  “Probably downstairs. We were always in here and when I came in you were always so rude to me. Another reason why I thought you liked Daisy.”

  “Nope. Not even close.” His hand is back, but this time it’s under the covers and rubbing just my abdomen. “Do you remember a couple weeks before Daisy’s birthday party? We were catching some waves and you came strolling out of the cottage in the sexiest green bikini, hair up and glasses on. You didn’t acknowledge anyone. Just laid out your towel, sat down and read a book.”

  “Oh yes! I remember because I dropped a contact and didn’t have a spare so I had to wear my nerd glasses.”

  “Those glasses…so hot!”

  “You’re nuts.” I go to playfully smack his hand, but miss and hit my stomach. “Ouch!”

  “Oh…poor baby.” Brian rolls over and trails feather-like kisses from my lips all the way down to my lower abdomen where I missed my target and marked my skin.

  “Stop it.” His soft touch tickles and makes me squirm. He stops once he gets back up to my lips.

  “So, anyway. Do you remember what happened next?”

  “I feel as if this is a quiz. Are you grading me?”

  “You should remember. I’m a hot piece of ass,” he jokes. “I was coming in and worked up the courage to talk to you and I just stood there. Looking at you.” Brian stares at me. Waiting, or maybe thinking.

  “I looked at the way some of your hair fell from your bun and framed your face.” He reaches over and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

  “I looked at the freckles that sprinkled your nose.” He kisses his fingertip and places it on the tip of my nose. “So cute.”

  “I looked at the fullness of your lips and wondered what it would be like to capture them with mine.” He leans in, pulling on my top lip with a gentle tug, then moves to the bottom one, repeating the process.

  “Oh, I remember now.” I’m ashamed at what I did. “I told you to move out of my way.”

  “Not exactly. I believe your exact words were. ‘The playground is half a mile down the beach. Now move, you’re blocking the sun.”

  “Brian…I wasn’t a nice person. I’m still not a nice person.”

  “Which leads me to the next question. What made you so bitchy?”

  “Gee thanks.”

  “It’s true, Lil. You said it yourself. You weren’t a nice person. What made you that way?”

  “Daddy issues.” I finally admit it and hope we can leave it alone.

  “Every girl has daddy issues. What are your issues?”

  When most people ask this question I turn on my bitch-mode, but right now, I want to tell him everything. I want him to know me because this is the first time in well, forever, that I want to share.

  “I never knew my dad. My mom was an artist and my dad was a musician. They were crazy in love, but drugs and a tour tore them apart. So, my mom had to go through her pregnancy and five years of my life alone. Well, until she met my step-dad, Daisy’s father.” I pause remembering how I thought he was the greatest. “I loved him. Calling him Dad was natural. He was so proud of me. I was his world. He would even take me to work when his assistant was out so I could help him.” I smile at the thought. “Then Daisy was born
five years later and things changed. I was no longer his world.” Recalling the memory hurt. “I can still see the look on his face when he saw Daisy for the first time. He never looked at me that way.”

  “Lil, he didn’t love Daisy more. It was just a different kind of love. It didn’t change his feelings for you.”

  “Brian, I grew up my whole life always trying to please people to get the affection I was desperately missing. I tried hard to be like them, but I wasn’t. Daisy was carefree and artistic like my mom and looked like my dad. I didn’t fit in. That is, until I met Ferris in college.”

  “Daisy told me a little about this.”

  “Of course she did.” I roll my eyes, irritated and a little jealous that she met Brian first. “Well, my version…Ferris was ruthless at a young age. He knew what he wanted and went after it. I on the other hand wanted to fit in. So, I watched and learned. He was a numbers genius and succeeded at everything he did. We signed up for all the same classes and partnered up on all our projects. And, during that time, I began to fall for him. I couldn’t help it. I finally found someone I was like and it felt good. I wanted more.”

  “You know that isn’t true, right?”

  “Are you going to let me tell my story or not?”

  “Carry on.”

  “The only problem with wanting more is never getting more. I did everything for him and forgot about being myself. After we graduated I talked Ferris into moving back to California to pursue our business dream, but instead of being his partner, I became more of a sidekick. Someone to bring to the business dinners and events. Don’t get me wrong, I assisted with projects, but it was never the partnership I dreamed of having with him. I knew though if I acted right, changed my look and became successful myself, that he would notice me and we could merge into one and create an empire.”

  “You do know that you more or less created a business plan for your life.”

  Taking a moment to think about it all, I realize he’s right. “Holy shit. I did.”

  “You also know that you are very much like your mom and dad…right?”